Water: 2 Hydrogens, 1 Oxygen

The ocean covers nearly 71% of the earth's surface, and despite its domination of the world's surface area, it manages to remain vast and widely, surprisingly, undiscovered. The depths are known, however the crevices that lie within the hull of the depths are a mystery, perhaps even to the ocean itself.  It is made up of water, which also is roughly 60% of myself. And despite the other 40% of my human composition being made up of other organic materials, water is the most fundamental of them all. That is other than carbon, I suppose and all the other science stuff. When salt water is boiled, the water evaporates and leaves behind, draws out, the salt that was within it all along, and despite the possible longevity of the salt being dissolved in the water, it is now out, and visible, for every spectator to see until it is doused in water and dissolved yet again. 

This evaporation is the process in which I go through whilst developing as a friend, sister, daughter, and human. With time, experience, trials, hardships, and successes, my salt is brought out of my water. My newly attained attributes have been brought from the crevices within my personhood and bubbled up to the surface to thrive and remain until I lose that part of myself to a difficult time, in which new salt will be brought out. Similar to jaws existing in the depths of the ocean, the mere fact that is it not visible does not automatically mean that it is impossible, unattainable, or unable to come into view. The whole purpose of life is to experience, whether that be an emotion or an event, we were all made to live. And it is through this living, that we are able to learn about ourselves, and so I make the comparison of myself to salt water. I am seventeen years old, and if speaking in terms of salt water, I feel as though I'm roughly a quarter boiled, I have only been through enough in my life to bring out 17% of my salt, and the other 83% remain, begging, waiting, to be brought to my surface. 

When water is boiling, it is bubbling, foaming. It is intensely pressurized water molecules in which have been forced into their movements by immense heat. When water is room temperature, it is calm, clear, one is able to see the entirety of it, depth and all. If one were to look into a pot of boiling water, it would be nearly impossible to see their own reflection, not to mention how difficult it would be to attempt to focus on seeking their own reflection whilst staring into a seemingly endless pot of chaos. Whereas, when you look into a pot of room temperature water, it is nearly impossible to not see one's own reflection, and hence extremely difficult to not notice all the aspects of the reflection looking back at them. Do you see where I'm going here? As a human developing as a person in this world, it is absolutely impractical to expect the lack of chaos in life, as life is not life without it, however life without the antonym of chaos, order, is ridiculous. Despite its ridiculosity, it is possible to live a life without order due to the factors of humanity such as addictions and other tragic worldly affairs. Point simply being: you cannot have a true sense of yourself and who you are in chaotic high pressure situations, just as you are more probable to have a clearer sense of self when in peaceful situations. That is, due to the ability in which is allowed during peaceful moments to learn how one reacts to the high pressure situations and how they affect them. 

I am genuinely happy, and have been for around a month now. I do not mean this in the sense that I have been absolutely miserable without a moment of joy for the last year, but rather in the sense that I am no longer feeling boiled by the intense high pressures of the world around me. These past two years have felt unbearable at times and as I gained and lost both friendships, relationships, and loved ones who played an influential role in my development as a person, I can firmly say I have truly experienced the chaos of life, at least thus far. I have been under such intense pressure and stress, due to simply existing as a teenager in today's society, that I was unable to learn anything about myself. I was living in a constant state of survival and frequently asking myself, "Who even am I?" or more ominous questions such as, "What is going to happen next?" It was not until very recently in which I was able to begin to uncover the answers to these questions about myself. I do not know every aspect of myself, but I am beginning to, and my hardships are entirely to blame for this new personal growth. I live life with more gratitude, I wake up with a mindset that the day in which I have ahead of me is a gift of time in which I can use however I please and I strive and challenge myself to do the most good as possible with that gift. That is quite the opposite of what the Fallon of say six or even four months ago would say, although the feeling of being under such intense heat and pressure, boiling, is absolutely the hardest thing I have ever gone through, it also has been the most rewarding to pull myself from the pressure and now allow myself to dwell in the calm and acknowledge my reflection for what it really is, and not what other's say it is. 

That is all, thank you for reading my brain's word vomit. 

Fallon