The Hidden Gems of Traffic

Traffic. Some tremble or feel a sense of annoyance when one utters the word. I, am one of those people. I absolutely cannot stand traffic, I cannot understand why people slow down, nearly to the point of a complete halt, when they go over a bridge on the interstate. I cannot understand why people do not know that a red light with a green arrow means that they can in fact turn without being hit my the cars in the supposed on coming traffic lanes.

However today I felt grateful for the traffic in which I was forced to endure, against my will. I will admit however, in the beginning I was very frustrated. The mini van with a handicapped license plate in front of me sat.... through the entire green light.... in a one lane... very, very, busy turn... ultimately making my time spent sitting at the light double. As I sat in the traffic, which was seemingly entirely unnecessary, I could only help but meticulously view my surroundings. First I noticed a lady walking her dog down the street, it was a white dog that looked more like the sponges used to clean cars than an wanted (and most likely bought) furry companion, second my eyes were captured by the fabrics and jackets that hung from hangers and were swaying in the wind on the porch of the nearby boutique. They looked cute, maybe not my taste, but I could tell based on the clientele entering and exiting the front door just off the porch that this boutique was a hotspot for the average sixty to sixty five year old female, and that they were most likely going to get tons of compliments on their new outfits at the next golf luncheon or Sunday brunch. Just as my mind began to wonder what the price tag of these borderline horrendous jackets was, I heard a laugh to the left outside my car which immediately dragged every ounce of my attention. I could immediately tell it was a girl, around my older sister's age, and that whatever she just had heard or saw was quite possibly one of the funniest things she had ever encountered in her entire life. She belly laughed to the point in which she was crying and clutching her stomach and the person in which she was staring at through her happy tears was in the exact same condition. He threw his head back and couldn't control the contagious laugh that flew so, so, quickly out of his mouth. He stared at her with admiration, and then, he pulled her into a hug, both of them unable to speak, and kissed her on the top of her head. I sat. In my car. Alone. In shock. I was jealous, one of the way in which he treated her, and two of the infectious laughter which had just erupted from both of them. Not to mention the fact that the both of them were absolutely gorgeous. He had dazzling blue eyes and his smile was perfect, almost too perfect. She was falling into him and her eyelashes were covered in tears from her laughter, her brunette hair framing her face. I was in awe to say the very least. And then, the thoughts began exploding in my mind, one after the other and in complete random sequence. 

What if this is one of those moments in their relationship? What if he's planning on proposing to her tomorrow? What if she was going to end things between them and this was the event that prevented her from doing so? What if this was their first meet up after a separation, or after a physical distance between them? What if she is moving across the world next week? What if he has someone else he belly laughs outside Coffee Rani with? What if she's breaking up with him after this, and she's simply savoring the last pleasant moments of their relationship? What if in 10 years when they are married with kids, and this was one of the moments in which was pivotal in the forming of their relationship? And there I was, just the nearby car with the teenage girl observing her surroundings annoyingly due to the mini van with the handicapped license plate who sat through the entire green light. 

Sonder, the only word which continuously flashed throughout my mind as these questions and thoughts bombarded me. By the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows reliable definition, Sonder is defined as the realization that each passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. 

That was it. 

I felt sonder? Sonderous? I was sondering? 

Regardless of the grammatical accuracy of this word, I was experiencing it, and it a lot to take in at once. 

The realization that she could have people who mean just as much to her as the people in my life mean to me, was intense. My friends are the absolute world to me, and to think that she could or could not have those exact same emotions with different people, is wild. She could have had a friend move away, or have just had a sleepover with her best friend who understands her more than anyone in the world (shoutout Julia 4 being my person <3), or have just gotten out of a toxic relationship and this is her first boy she has opened up to since. She could have had a family member or friend pass away, and this boy is the only person who lifts that weight off her shoulders. She could have just moved here from out of the country and this was her first time experiencing anything like this. She could have been out partying all night and now she's filling her friend in on her nights adventures. She could have failed her math class her freshmen year of high school. Regardless of this mystery brunette's life, every decision she had ever made had led her to be standing outside of my car belly laughing with the man with beautiful eyes.  

I suddenly became the girl we all love to hate and hate to love who was crying at the red light because she had just become so overwhelmed with every emotion she had just felt. Life is unpredictable, their lives both individually and together are unpredictable, my life is unpredictable. Would I have ever predicted to be sitting at this red light crying from the beauty of this moment? Absolutely not. But the unpredictability of their lives was entirely to blame for the tears streaming down my face in that specific moment in time, Thank God for Traffic. Thank God for the old lady who was probably confused that the red light with a green arrow meant that she could in fact turn right, Thank God for the sixty year old women spending an excessive amount of money on clothing that they could show off to their fellow sixty year old friends and Thank God for the couple with the infectious laugh who allowed me to experience sonder at such grand level for the first time in my life. 

Fallon